Anywhoo, I feel that the time has come for the general public-- (including but not limited to, "The great unwashed") to know exactly what kind of chaos goes on in my head cavity. Can you handle it?...(cricket,cricket) CORN! .....Well, that was a capital: Awkward...
.....I hope you're still there....Because I'm just about to get to the part where I talk about my food allergies. Ready? ...SET!...So speaking of corn, and I'm glad you brought it up (wink, wink) I am allergic to it. And it is NO BUENO! 'Cause I have always considered it to be rather delectable...but NO. Of course I would have to go and be allergic to it. TYPical. Anddd not to mention the fact that I lived in Nebraska -aka- "The Cornhusker State"....Where they worship the corn...and beef-it's what's for dinner.
-Corn Bloat- (No this is not, and I repeat, NOT a recipe.)
- I bloat.
- I bloat some more....
- I am three months prego...lame-o...(this is entirely figurative)
- .......Zzzzzzzz
- 4-5 hours later..."Ugh! Where am I?! What day is it?!"
............I just took that ball...and ran with it.....it was more of a trot or slow jog..but who's counting?...I didn't think so.
You thought that was outrageous.....after this you are gonna think i'm....NUTS!
(Oh, puns...What would my sense of humor be with out you? Everyone knows sarcasm is o-fish-ally over...its O-fish.)And coming up with clever alternate spellings for things? Well that is toe-tall-e in four-shore, ahb-viously...duh...take notes.
Did you read the fine print? ....you may regret it if you didn't...-THINK ABOUT IT-
Now!
Back to the PUN that I was originally PUNning that I thought was so PUNny that i went off on some insane tangent about:
Nuts! I'm allergic to 'em.
Peanuts, brazil nuts, hazelnuts, cashews, almonds, macadamia nuts, etc.
but especially...WALNUTS.
Walnuts are the enemy, the weapon of mass destruction. (on a very small and very personal scale)
If I consume but one smidgen of any of these..the result: Zits from Hades.
'Nuff said right? WRONG!
-Observe-
The bane of my existence?...YEP..It's a bear-cat.
Well boys and girls, alas. This concludes my fist blahg and all the epicy-epicness that is associated with it. I know you were beginning to hum that nightmarish tune...this is the blog that never ends. yes, it goes on and on my friends. some people started reading it not knowing what it was....blah, blah, blahh...you know the one.
HOLLA-FO-A-DOLLA! And I'll see you babies next time
Peace.
